any purpose to work?

any purpose to work?
rushing here and there.. rushing for work.. rushing to take bus.. rushing off.. i am wondering.. it's that money that i really want?.. a few hundreds bunks really can mean anything mah?.. i dunno and dun think so.. what really matters to me?.. sitting in the bus.. for 1 hr.. back and fore.. does that count as wasting my time..

i teared when my stressed level reach a certain level.. come of think of it..wandering.. does crying do help?..

felt so helpless right now.. it's not that you are emotional or physically immobile.. it's just that.. suddenly.. u can't do the things you really want to do.. like meeting your frens and spending time with your family members.. meeting them it's really difficult..

and it bored down to loneliness.. really am i wasting my time?.. felt so hopeless..

i guess when i go attachment and later working.. it will be the same time or even worse bah.. really.. it really eat up your entire time.. and u really need to be drag to go work.. somemore stress is accumulating.. ppl is looking highly upon you.. i dunno how long i can tahan any longer.. felt so tired.. really.. feel like giving up.. but i can't.. i dun want to.. it's not my purpose.. that's not my motive.. that's not my aim.. i dun want everything to be wasted.. i dun want to lose everything.. help!.. give me the motivation once again.. give me the strengthen to continue to move on.. please.. i beg.. i need the courage.. the bravery.. give me those.. i pray..

*****

dun bother about me.. i will picked myself up de.. given my character.. i will.. juz give me some time.. i think this is life? isn't it?.. you get to taste abit of here and there.. like a slice of cake like that.. a mouthful of this, a mouthful of that.. tis make your life complete.. i have one motto..

"The earth wouldn't stop revolve around the sun, the sun wouldn't stop giving out heat to the humans, the humans wouldn't stop for other humans only when they care.. i mean.. when THEY DO CARES.."

****

i have seen teenagers died in an early age as early as ten plus.. i am NOT afraid.. okay.. i should say i am not afraid of facing death.. but i am afraid of dying.. too much dreams to be take into realistic.. too much souls to be saved.. too much love to NOT having the time to spread.. when will my life stops?.. that's really a question mark..

live my life to the fullest?.. how.. i am trying to.. but how really can it take into reality.. i miss morning prayer meeting.. i miss 184.. i miss every single classmate of mine.. i miss every single good friend of mine.. i miss the moment that i longed lost.. felt so empty right now.. guess i will slp earlier tonight.. listening to some good songs to accompany me to slp bah.. good night..