move on, shall we?

move on, shall we?
well.. last day of the wake...came very fast.. i didn't slp much that night before, though i slp earlier.. was tossing around and thinking will i really cry that bad the next day.. so well.. i didn't really have a proper slp..

it's like 9am when we were been asked to wake up by my mum, we have our breakfast and was ready to set off.

we reached the wake at around 1030.. then we settle down after changing our shirts to a white plain tee..

My first tear came when i heard the symphonic band playing the first song.. Shi Shang Zhi You Ma Ma Hao.. wah..seeing the 3 uncles (husband's of my aunts and my mum), and wonder really how fortunate can my grandma be, seeing her children gotten married happily and .. well.. but i managed to hold back my tears and continue drinking my water..

the first CRY happened when we were asked to walk around the coffin as a group.. i was having thoughts all over my mind and i heard my 2nd aunt cried, i was really amazed at that, coz my 2nd aunt was really very strong and appear to be very optimistic.. and seeing her burst out crying and shouting did impact me alot.. then after that my another aunt cried.. my mum tears.. well.. i nearly cant controlled myself.. i told myself to cool down and relax.. and relax.. and it got better.. secretly.. i wiped off my tears..

then after that, the coffin was carried out from the wake around 12+, we then walked behind the coffin.. it is really heart-broken, your thoughts will went crazy.. and u doesn't raelly know what u are thinking about.. before that all of the children and grandchildren were asked to be bare-footed wearing only socks..

so it really hurt when walking on the concrete roads, somemore with the sun on top of us.. it really is a crazy move.. but i told myself.. For my grandma, for my grandma, this is really the least of what i can do.. this is really the bare minimum that i can be as a grandchildren.. somemore grandma has suffers so much hardships.. we were just walked and accompanied her for the last lap of journey.. that isn't much that we can ask for, isn't it?


fter a 10-15mins walked, we board the coach and set off to the cremation centre.. on our way, flashbacks of how grandma treated me and my cousin came across, it's really vivid.. and memorable.. those silly scolding.. lovely joking.. all have gone to pass.. thinking that this is IT.. the moment that i wished won't happen..

with a 20mins fast drive, we arrived at the centre and was asked to walk in and sit down to wait.

around 0120, the final praying starts, a rather short one, the priests in black prayed for like 5mins then we walked around the coffin for the last time in 3 rounds and the coffin was been pushed to the holding area..

all ALL (i repeat)..everyone of us ran to the holding area with the transparent screen covering up the room.. the aunts and my mum.. burst out crying non stops and i teared.. i really teared.. the last final moment when the coffin was been send up to the cremation machine.. my elder sister came and hugged me.. at that point of time.. i can't hold up my tears anymore, i burst out crying on her shoulder.. hold up the tears for so many so many nights.. i finally burst out crying.. for nearly 3mins..(then i heard a voice in my mind, MOVE ON, MOVE ON, but i just can't control anymore, i continue crying for the 3mins.. releasing out all my emotions out..)

then we were asked to proceed back to the holding area.. i controlled myself and stop the cry..then, my 2nd sister can't hold it anymore, she cried also.. even more serious.. my elder sis console her and my 3rd sister console my mum.. every aunts wipe their tears, some even can't walk properly.. we asked them to sit at the branches and let them have a rest before we proceed with the last pray.

i looked at grandma's tablet and sigh, and finally say out my last words in my heart, wishing her, pray for her, and to ask God to really take good care of her, she can finally re-unite with her husband...

after that, we took back the same coach and arrive back at the wake's area where we have our lunch past 2.. the food was terrific yummy.. with the fried chicken cutlet, fried fish, yummy vege and fresh steamed prawns.. marvellous.. after that we went on with the last prayer meet at the house that my grandma last lived and we depart and leave with peacefulness in our hearts.. finally a matter went on pretty in order..aren't they?