Wednesday, October 29, 2008

upset over myself

upset over myself
spent at least 4 hours for both resumes and cover letter. End up being commented as irrelevant, you noe how pissed off and upset it can be mah?.. those ideas are so great and yet grammar and vocab mistakes all over. I think that is my weakness bah.. scoring C5 for English O's and the poor foundation i had for pri and sec edu... hai..

not sure how come but just feel very overwhelm by thoughts running in my brain right now..i still rmb one of my form teacher said when i am in sec 3,

"Chee Meng, i noe you have worked hard already, Try Working smart. It helps especially to your grades."

4 hours of sitting infront of the com starring at the screen really didn't worked. I guess quantity work doesn't produce quality work bah, and quality work doesn't need quantity bah..

i totally can't see any direction ahead of me. It's like it has been blocked by something, an obstacle?.. i really need help to enlighten this path to my success....i hope i will be able to see it...SOON

Monday, October 27, 2008

a change of blogskin, a change of attitude?

a change of blogskin, a change of attitude?
can't believe ytd midnight i do this blogskin till 4am.. wah.. it was so long.. 4 hours.. but that's consider quite short.. compared to last time.. but really.. this time around is very late liao.. really affects my health condition.. physically.. doesn't feel very good right now...

this afternn went ktv at katong with costllan and shuxian.. celebrated costllan 18th birthday.. was fun actually.. surprising costllan...lol.. quite memorable.. the singing is so so lah.. i knew that i improved on my singing techs liao.. i think becoz of me been too tired.. that's why didn't get to enjoy much..

after that go to change my old jeans to new jeans at Levi's store.. i tell you.. that promotion is a GIMMICK.. the original price for the new jeans available is $149.90 the cheapest.. the exchange of old jeans can only deduct $50 from the original price.. meaning.. i need to spend around $100 on that jeans... wat the...

in the end, given my cheap-skit attitude.. of course.. i didn't change.. if i have changed, i am not the chee meng that you all noe liao.. sure kana possessed liao.. i mean.. i bought $100 out.. to buy clothes.. and.. who the person on earth will take out his 2 $50 notes for that jeans.. it's really illogical and insensible lah.. for now i mean..
given my tight money management and building fund is coming right up... got to know what is a NEED, and what is a WANT.. lol..

okay lah.. i gtg to go do my cmsk liao.. ciao..

ps: do give me any comments and feedback to improve on the blogskin's layout.. thanks

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

2 days upon sch re-open

2 days upon sch re-open
2nd day of sch and yet i have already despise going to sch.. why?... not sure..

is it becoz...
  • Project Grouping?
  • Unfair Treatment?
  • Stress on Studies?
  • NO motivation
  • Tension building up
  • Peer Pressure.. doubt so..
  • Being too emotional.. MOST likely
Where is the happiest moments of my life when i am inYear1? where is the laughters and where is the unite 184 that i noe?.. or maybe i am wrong.. 184 didn't unite in the first place.. it is the circumstance that brought us closer bah.. i guess.. no matter what.. no point drilling down to the past and lagging behind..

that's it for now.. shldn't complain more.. ciao..

Sunday, October 19, 2008

The truth.. OH!.. needs to be revealed now..

The truth.. OH!.. needs to be revealed now..
Answer to... "Is that ME?"


tml will be schooling... so well.. i can't continue to let you all guess already.. nvm.. next vacation.. i will post somemore of these.. haha.. :)

hmm.. juz to cut it short.. i will now give you 2 versions of supposed answers and i will tell you the answer at somewhere in this blog.. u can go look for it later.. :P

Version 1:
Obviously THAT'S ME..
well.. i supposed to be the one capturing this shot.. but my fren.. pushes me to do this.. so.. i bo pian.. need to do this "Stunt".. so.. dun worry guys.. this road is a dead end and that's no cars at all.. i really regretted doing such silly things lah.. but.. what to do.. do already mah.. haha.. but it's fun after all.. the feeling of lying on the road is like.. so scary.. really really need alot of courage to do so.. but i put it off.. lol.. maybe that time i am abit drunk lah.. opps.. shldn't say it out that i went drinking before that.. that's my 1st time drinking bah.. shh.. dun tell every1..well.. turn out to be this result.. hmm... but good pic right?.. i am Proud of doing this.. (claps)

----------------------------------------

Version 2:
Obviously THAT'S NOT ME..
how on earth i will do such silly thing.. lying on the road.. oh NO.. what if suddenly there's a car turning by?.. then i will not have another day to live already.. even though if the road is dead end.. but how abt bicycle?.. it's really not realistic to do so lah.. somemore i admit that i am a person without much braveness.. lol.. won't do such stunt.. but i really really.. find this pic very cool lah.. maybe one day i shld go try it.. provided there are alot of my frens around me GUARDING lah.. anyway this pic is taken from myspace.. i try to find the link again to let you see the real him but i totally forgotten which is the person liao.. haha.. but no matter what let's give him a round of applause..
(claps)

----------------------------------------

hehez.. so... 2 versions.. 1 answer.. go find bah.. 1 or 2.. u decide.. nono.. u go find :)

Thursday, October 2, 2008

any purpose to work?

any purpose to work?
rushing here and there.. rushing for work.. rushing to take bus.. rushing off.. i am wondering.. it's that money that i really want?.. a few hundreds bunks really can mean anything mah?.. i dunno and dun think so.. what really matters to me?.. sitting in the bus.. for 1 hr.. back and fore.. does that count as wasting my time..

i teared when my stressed level reach a certain level.. come of think of it..wandering.. does crying do help?..

felt so helpless right now.. it's not that you are emotional or physically immobile.. it's just that.. suddenly.. u can't do the things you really want to do.. like meeting your frens and spending time with your family members.. meeting them it's really difficult..

and it bored down to loneliness.. really am i wasting my time?.. felt so hopeless..

i guess when i go attachment and later working.. it will be the same time or even worse bah.. really.. it really eat up your entire time.. and u really need to be drag to go work.. somemore stress is accumulating.. ppl is looking highly upon you.. i dunno how long i can tahan any longer.. felt so tired.. really.. feel like giving up.. but i can't.. i dun want to.. it's not my purpose.. that's not my motive.. that's not my aim.. i dun want everything to be wasted.. i dun want to lose everything.. help!.. give me the motivation once again.. give me the strengthen to continue to move on.. please.. i beg.. i need the courage.. the bravery.. give me those.. i pray..

*****

dun bother about me.. i will picked myself up de.. given my character.. i will.. juz give me some time.. i think this is life? isn't it?.. you get to taste abit of here and there.. like a slice of cake like that.. a mouthful of this, a mouthful of that.. tis make your life complete.. i have one motto..

"The earth wouldn't stop revolve around the sun, the sun wouldn't stop giving out heat to the humans, the humans wouldn't stop for other humans only when they care.. i mean.. when THEY DO CARES.."

****

i have seen teenagers died in an early age as early as ten plus.. i am NOT afraid.. okay.. i should say i am not afraid of facing death.. but i am afraid of dying.. too much dreams to be take into realistic.. too much souls to be saved.. too much love to NOT having the time to spread.. when will my life stops?.. that's really a question mark..

live my life to the fullest?.. how.. i am trying to.. but how really can it take into reality.. i miss morning prayer meeting.. i miss 184.. i miss every single classmate of mine.. i miss every single good friend of mine.. i miss the moment that i longed lost.. felt so empty right now.. guess i will slp earlier tonight.. listening to some good songs to accompany me to slp bah.. good night..