Tuesday, April 28, 2009

mis-comm

was sort of disappointed, but well every organisation has its rules and regulation.

and we are just one of the chess, unfortunately to be play around.

well, i will continue to be played, and hopefully, not be kicked out of the game.

the truth is unbearable and sometimes un-acceptance, but well.. lived with it, and move on to the next destination, isn't what we called LIFE.

shall not talk about this issue anymore, hope i will not bring this up again.

God help me to recover from this hurt, can you? it's so much emotinally to be bear with..

Thank you in advance and i hope for a speedy recovery/healing to take place.. if not..

i might just exit this game and wandered around outside. take care every1..

Friday, April 24, 2009

icreate exhibts and reflection

this morning, i woke up at 6.10am as planned, and to travel to SMU for the icreate exhibits..
well , icreate is a somesort of convention, called the "International Conference on Accesible Tourism", specially for the people with impaired disability, and my role is to originally to be the ushers, i heard from my fren that it will be very tiring ushering the special ppl, but i just told myself to treat them as normal ppl and give the equal respect but with greater carefulness so as to make them feel more welcome and happy.

it's around 5mins passed the meeting time when i arrived at the meeting place, well i am the first! Hooray! the rest came abit later than me, and i was SO shocked that they are all juniors /\_/\|| so me, as the senior just felt totally weird, thank God, later huibin came, and at least i have some one to chat with.. haha.. this really makes things easy.. :) by 15mins time, we managed to gather and set off to the exhibits for a briefing.
The briefing started abit later than expected guess the organiser was abit busy bah, so i juz wonder around the waiting area and looking aimlessly at the noticeboards etcs

by 0825 we were been told to gathered in the auditorium to receive our duties.. i was been asked to do the carry of the machine together with huibin and another junior, the organiser, Mr Ng, was seems like a friendly person to me, smiling and encouraging us, he told me to be the leader of the group to manage the flow of the event.. wah.. abit of responsibility leh, thought i can slack abit.. but okay lah.. not much, juz organising my 2 guys and to ask them to carry the 50kg machine and move up and down the stairs, and out of the auditorium to the stairs..

before that we were been asked to carry out the furnitures to the main stage, seems heavy, but we managed to carry all out.. :) but then coz of that, my arms muscles are already tired liao, this makes the carrying of machine even more tedious..

around 0940, the opening cermony starts with the chairman of the "Disabled People's Association" introducing the activities with a welcome speech, my job is very simple, just wait for the 2nd spokeperson (Mr Hideto Kijima Toyonaka")'s wheelchair to be inside the lever and to operate the machine to allow the platform to be inline with the stage ground before he can leave his self out of the machine and proceed straight to the stage front for the speech

with that, Mr Kijima can present with the least effort, a great innovative design machine really solves this kind of crucial problems..well, Mr Kijima is an amazing person, since 20 years ago, he has been living with his wheel-chairs coz of a backbone problem/injury that forces him to be a wheel-chair bound person.

thinking of his disability, Mr Kijima wants to do something different from others, some might choose to give up their lives, some might feel miserable, but Mr Kijima just live his life to the fullest potential he has, fullest maximum that he can overcome and achieve not only his goals but of his dream of travelling around 99 COUNTRIES IN THE WORLD IN 20 YEARS only...

i really admired him alot, given the difficult of mobile-ing, and yet he managed to travel so many countries and over come so many obstacles mentioned in the slides itself... i rmb some memorable ones..
  • Riding a camel in the desert
  • Climb up the mountain by the help of the water buffalos
  • Climb up the hill with the help of the guys and a cloth, like a pivot and the lever theory.. AMAZING
  • Bungee jumping
  • Sky diving, (but at the last moment been cancelled due to some technical errors, but he did overcome his fears to give it a try
  • Hand- driving around the town (but nearly coz an accident resulting in lots of inside humours, can share with you when you asked me.. very funny and lame..:))
His traveling experiences makes me wonder, even him can travel so many countries, what about me? as a well-function teenager do? what is the least i can do? how can i make the world into a better place? How can i fulfill my dream also to travel to the countries around the world? really, it makes wonder and really did boost up my courage and tempting me to travel again.. really envious him alot! :P

his +ve thinking attitude & his cheerful character really motivates me alot..and his presentation was way to entertaining, and he just dun have any stage fright, and he is just there in front of you talking to you about his memorable experiences, and with some laughers and jokes.. his laughers and smiles from the slides and photos are all very real and you can see that he is really REALLY happy to be who he is, enjoy what he is doing and not to feel disgrace about his disability and to live his life with these 3 goals (i'm trying my best to rmb):
  • Fulfill your dream no matter what difficult it is
  • Maintain a cheerful and +ve attitude in handling things
  • SMILEZ! :)

well isn't travel great? and isn't travel with more onbound access of the handicapped facilities better for the travellers with disability. we have not really done enuf, Let's make the world a better place and really, really, plays a part in helping the need and to heal a hurt! Shall we?! :)

finally watched this movie completely..

"A drama (movie) about friendship that spans ages, this is based on a true story which chronicles the life of a man who died at the age of 23 after an illness that started with the partial collapse of his cranial bone, and a subsequent battle with seven types of incurable diseases. "

interesting plot right? last year i was doing some yahoo random search, and found out this movie "Yuuki", it's a jap movie portraying the real life true story of a patient w
ho suffers from this very un-cured rare diseases and how he overcome the fear of his illness and even managed to encourage his friends around him to be motivated about their own lives, very meaningful.

tonight just managed to finish the left few impt parts of the movie coz the last time i watched, it's incompleted. so well, i thought of popping by and GREAT, it's the ending.. expected ending, but unexpected motivational messages sent across..

Given his unbearable situation, his courage to face fear did warm my heart, and really, did encourage me alot, no matter is the previous time watching, or just now, it is really amazing how the storyline can be stuck into my mind untill now, i still will be able to rmb most of the storylines..

this movie is really highly recommended to watch.
you can watch it at http://www.mysoju.com/yuuki/ for free. :)


the main actor acting as the patient: Kamenashi Kazuya
Acting: Excellent

Below are Some of the movie screenshots.. ENJOY! :)



Courtesy to crunchyroll:) All rights reserved to crunchyroll :)

Monday, April 20, 2009

awesome NIGHT!

tonight i really have an awesome night..
was really tired after the cremation, reached home around 5pm already + bathe = manage to sleep around 1 hr

then i pull myself up for the dinner..

i am glad i didn't cancel that.. coz it really ends up well..

after a series of consideration, xy, pris and i decided to eat on tian tian steamboat.. we talk alot and eat alot end up we talked like for the whole 2 hour plus, the food were so-so, but i really love eating and eating with the ones i care about.. i really can put myself down, eat without guard, just eat without manners.. shiok sia..:)

we order our bill around 10+ then we decided to walk to Singapore river for a chat..

then we bought some sparkling wine to drink..i choose the orange since i tried the peach before..

i admit that i am drunk when i am suddenly so high.. and very dreamy.. lol..

and xy and i was like talking nonsense.. haha.. we were having a very fun time shooting photos and chatting.. jon and prisc cool us down..

and we depart for the last bus nearly half past 12 midnight and when i reach home it was like nearly 0130..

(some of the nicer pictures, thanks to Jon got the camera-ing:))
xy and me with courtesy bear:)
xy and prisc with courtesy bear:)
xy, jon and prisc with courtesy bear:)

xy and prisc with their liquor

i like this pic the best, see the white thingy in the bottom left corner? that's me:)


jon and i holding the best frens' liquor
when 4 bottles of liquor unites!! :P
prisc, me and xy:)

thanks jon for the shooting and sending of them home, love you ye? :):P

move on, shall we?

move on, shall we?
well.. last day of the wake...came very fast.. i didn't slp much that night before, though i slp earlier.. was tossing around and thinking will i really cry that bad the next day.. so well.. i didn't really have a proper slp..

it's like 9am when we were been asked to wake up by my mum, we have our breakfast and was ready to set off.

we reached the wake at around 1030.. then we settle down after changing our shirts to a white plain tee..

My first tear came when i heard the symphonic band playing the first song.. Shi Shang Zhi You Ma Ma Hao.. wah..seeing the 3 uncles (husband's of my aunts and my mum), and wonder really how fortunate can my grandma be, seeing her children gotten married happily and .. well.. but i managed to hold back my tears and continue drinking my water..

the first CRY happened when we were asked to walk around the coffin as a group.. i was having thoughts all over my mind and i heard my 2nd aunt cried, i was really amazed at that, coz my 2nd aunt was really very strong and appear to be very optimistic.. and seeing her burst out crying and shouting did impact me alot.. then after that my another aunt cried.. my mum tears.. well.. i nearly cant controlled myself.. i told myself to cool down and relax.. and relax.. and it got better.. secretly.. i wiped off my tears..

then after that, the coffin was carried out from the wake around 12+, we then walked behind the coffin.. it is really heart-broken, your thoughts will went crazy.. and u doesn't raelly know what u are thinking about.. before that all of the children and grandchildren were asked to be bare-footed wearing only socks..

so it really hurt when walking on the concrete roads, somemore with the sun on top of us.. it really is a crazy move.. but i told myself.. For my grandma, for my grandma, this is really the least of what i can do.. this is really the bare minimum that i can be as a grandchildren.. somemore grandma has suffers so much hardships.. we were just walked and accompanied her for the last lap of journey.. that isn't much that we can ask for, isn't it?


fter a 10-15mins walked, we board the coach and set off to the cremation centre.. on our way, flashbacks of how grandma treated me and my cousin came across, it's really vivid.. and memorable.. those silly scolding.. lovely joking.. all have gone to pass.. thinking that this is IT.. the moment that i wished won't happen..

with a 20mins fast drive, we arrived at the centre and was asked to walk in and sit down to wait.

around 0120, the final praying starts, a rather short one, the priests in black prayed for like 5mins then we walked around the coffin for the last time in 3 rounds and the coffin was been pushed to the holding area..

all ALL (i repeat)..everyone of us ran to the holding area with the transparent screen covering up the room.. the aunts and my mum.. burst out crying non stops and i teared.. i really teared.. the last final moment when the coffin was been send up to the cremation machine.. my elder sister came and hugged me.. at that point of time.. i can't hold up my tears anymore, i burst out crying on her shoulder.. hold up the tears for so many so many nights.. i finally burst out crying.. for nearly 3mins..(then i heard a voice in my mind, MOVE ON, MOVE ON, but i just can't control anymore, i continue crying for the 3mins.. releasing out all my emotions out..)

then we were asked to proceed back to the holding area.. i controlled myself and stop the cry..then, my 2nd sister can't hold it anymore, she cried also.. even more serious.. my elder sis console her and my 3rd sister console my mum.. every aunts wipe their tears, some even can't walk properly.. we asked them to sit at the branches and let them have a rest before we proceed with the last pray.

i looked at grandma's tablet and sigh, and finally say out my last words in my heart, wishing her, pray for her, and to ask God to really take good care of her, she can finally re-unite with her husband...

after that, we took back the same coach and arrive back at the wake's area where we have our lunch past 2.. the food was terrific yummy.. with the fried chicken cutlet, fried fish, yummy vege and fresh steamed prawns.. marvellous.. after that we went on with the last prayer meet at the house that my grandma last lived and we depart and leave with peacefulness in our hearts.. finally a matter went on pretty in order..aren't they?

Saturday, April 18, 2009

continue.. from the previous post..

continue from what i left off..this evening went for the 2nd day of the wake.. lots of happenings things..
today (sat) reached the wake around 6.30pm like that.. was feeling abit tired coz of the bible study miscommunication breakdown.. was traveling here and there..

my sisters and i immediately helped out with the folding of prayers papers... untill the first prayer meeting starts at 7pm and every children and grand-children of my grandma were asked to go forward to sit and pray with the joss-sticks on.. it lasts around 20mins and we went back to fold the papers..

while we were folding the papers, we realised that the ppl who came got more and more.. too much that there were no seats for them to sit and food for them to eat..

we then realised at 10pm that it's becoz there were my uncle's past under society members pray respect to our grandma by bowing thrice together infront of her tablet...indeed i felt quite honoured but was abit scared at the same time since there were like nearly 100 ppl there.. and most of them looks not that friendly.. :"(

after that, the priest went on to ask us to bring the folding papers and houses, cars... to the burning site to burn.. these paper incenses just gone into ashes in less than 5mins time.. but i heard that they were expensive since not much ppl here knows and are still doing these paper incenses and properties for the dead.. well i really respect them and hope that this unique culture will still be remained in Singapore in the future

after praying, we have an early off instructed by our dad.. the ppl in the car are my 3 sisters and my elder sister in law and me.. we were talking about the early history of my grandmother.. discussing how fortunate she was.. married to a rich husband (according to my mum> my sister) so really felt light-hearted after hearing that..after marriage, she didn't really have to go out to work.. that's really how rich my grandpa was.. then after that, their children are also very filial.. really how fortunate can this be. A nice family with few heartwarming kids born and live happily ever.. this is really what i want and wish to have..how about u?

(live with the fullest, not with ANY regrets!)

雖然很芭樂 BY 謝和弦 aChord

歌名:雖然很芭樂 詞/曲/演唱:謝和弦 編曲:李燕飛

芭芭 芭樂芭 芭芭 芭樂芭 芭芭 芭樂芭 芭芭芭......

都是因為你 我現在可以 學會整理我 粗糙的個性

也開始相信愛情 會讓人變得有型

都是因為你 我現在刻意 學習控制我 放肆的愛你

也開始更加努力 懂你說的大道理


腦袋裡沒有東西 怎麼能陪你談心

怎麼能陪你逛整夜的誠品

追尋著什麼目的 得到什麼真理

都因為你 才變的有意義


喔 我好愛你 雖然聽起來會有些芭樂

可是我想不到 別的水果能代我表達

喔 我很貪心 貪小便宜 蒐集浪漫片段

可是我不能大方 沒有你的燭光晚餐



試著唱唱 試著嚷嚷 甜在心頭的步伐 你讓我的悲傷 笑的燦爛

試著蘊藏 試著醞釀 想對你說的那句話 素顏的愛 不需要上妝


芭芭 芭樂芭 芭芭 芭樂芭 芭芭 芭樂芭 芭芭芭......

text extracted from singer's blog: http://www.wretch.cc/blog/chord76415/16888180

VERY CUTE SONG.. SO DECIDED TO PUT IT HERE FIRST:)

break the news

well..sort of want to explain tonight's event to you guys.. well.. my grandma *mum's mum* passed away, she died at midnight peacefully.. ya.. i like the word PEACEFULLY.. at least she was ill but she did die peacefully..

i shall not mentioned her more already, well this is my first time attending a wake.. it's tiring for my 3 realm.. PHYSICALLY, PSYCHO AND EMO..

well physically, i was asked to burn the offering.. hmm.. been one of her grandchildren.. hmm ought to pay her a respect lah.. yup.. so the christian thing were all put aside.. well this is my policy of life.. RESPECT EVERYONE REGARDLESS OF HIS RELIGION.. so.. hmm.. i was like burning the offering for around 1 hour, chatting with my cousin and the coffin was like 2 arm-length beside us.. hmm.. it's kind of weird.. coz what i saw in the tv really comes into reality..

before that, when my sisters and i were reached, we were asked to drop in the joss-sticks.. with the band playing the music.. really really felt like crying.. this whole day i have been holding my tears.. really really thought of burst out crying.. but i juz can't.. thinking of the grandma of mine.. lively, joyful last Chinese new year (it was like 2-3 months ago only).. and now really prove one thing.. life is really fragile.. and to really treasure the ones who is around you.. not untill.. :"(


pyscho barrier is the most difficult to attend on.. it's MENTALLY difficult.. and always it will lead to emotional.. so well.. it's really a hard battle to beat on.. but thinking my grandma can end her misery *(illness) and to be unite with God in Heaven did lighten my heart abit.. well.. my heart now are peaceful..

i am not sure i will cry tml or on sun, but definitely i have re-learn an impt lesson and it has proven today AGAIN.. treasure your lives, and the lives around you.

Take care guys, will update again..

TO BE CONTINUE..

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Food Festa!

woohoo.. it's late at night and i juz finished my food marathon today.. so full.. yup.. i am really contented today, finally i get to eat and drink so much.. haha:) let me brief you some of the highlights:P

1.30pm: Jalan Kayu "CXXXX restaurant" selling pata, well was travelling with jy and kp after swim, we took a LRT from Farmway to Thanggam it's juz a 2 stop ride, and a short walk and BOOm .. we reach the famous well known street... we ordered..
  • 3 plain Pata
  • 1 BIG BOOM (actually it's a sugar pata.. lol)
  • 3 TeH
total was $7.20, well the pata was 10 cents ex than usual but i should say the highlight is the Teh.. wow.. it's really amazing how strong the nice fragrance can it be.. it just makes you want to keep drinking keep drinking:)

3.30pm: this time i was at Starbucks with wanying doing DIY Easter Eggs Session.. we order the following..
  • 1 Type of Coffee which is foreign to me (i only drink Ya-Kun.. )
  • 2 plain Free Ice Water
  • 1 Oreo CheeseCake (a well collaboration of cheese and oreo.. my fav OREO:))
  • 1 Choco Cake (liquid choco running out of the cake that melts into your entire mouth..:P)
  • 1 Cheese Bagel (well toast with the melting butter, a bite that will kills you..)
the total was around well, after 30% staff discount from wy.. and my $10 Starbucks vochur (given as appreciation for my constant morning prayer week last year), not ex lah. i actually spend $2.80 on the cheese corrisant only..the remaining is sponser by my sister..:).. we spent around 3 hours wrapping, drawing the eggs, well it all pays off:) (i shall blog tml about the response when everyone saw the eggs..:)

7pm: wy and i was like wandering around for dinner, and we finally decided to eat at Hotpot Culture at Marina, well we only pay $10.40 (with GST) each for the following of my portion of what i ate..
  • Herbal soup based (refill once)
  • Pork Slices with some seafood platter
  • and lots of veges
  • 2 BIG bowl of rice..
well, it's all worth the eating.. so much food, we took 2 hours chatting and eating.. so nice eating steamboat in this cold and cosy weather, it really warms your stomach up.. yummy, yummy.. now i am really prepared for the buffet next time..:)

10pm: arrived at Kovan CC to meet my sister and sister in law, we called for some drinks and watch a live band performance put up by an neighbourhood unknown band.. here is what we called..
  • 1 glass of ice green tea
  • 1 glass of ice lemon tea
actually, i pay $3 for the drinks and watch the awesome performance put up by the band, i should say it's really worth it lah, with the nice comfortable weather with the cosy lighting, even though it's outdoor, the songs and lovely melody still melts my hearts with a mixture of English and Mardarin Pop hits..

(i am not done yet:)

11pm: last stop, my 3rd sister came by and drove the 3 of us from Kovan CC to this dim sum restaurant near little india there called the "X chun" there for supper, i so miss this dim sum, i tell you.. it has been so long since i have eaten this awesome dim sum... this some of the food we ordered..
  • 2 plates of chao siew buns
  • 2 plates of carrot cake
  • 2 plates of chao siew pastries
  • 1 plate of red bean pastry
  • 2 BIG bowls of century-egg porridge
  • 1 plate of prawn roll
  • 2 glass of HOT barley water
  • 1 kettle of china hot tea
i should say, with the delicious & marvelous foods for only $34 (with takeaway food).. it's really ALL WELL ENDS WELL, a good supper really ends everything off and right now i am feeling really contented, all my stress is gone, all my worries is gone, good and great food really marks my day right and will set these next days right too.. really Thank God for giving me this opportunity and this healthy body to try all of this great food with my cash available and well, this really proves that God is good all the time and all the time God is good. Amen?

:P:)

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Courage to admit and face the reality

well.. a very short one. as u noe that i am doing a Door to Door job on flyer distribution, today i did a strange thing with xy that is to deliver them into the mailbox.. end up the customers (provided the flyer) when checking and saw the mailbox with flyers..

i shld help xy sort neatly the flyers into the mailbox.. coz that's remaining of the flyers outside the mailbox,
well.. guess we really deserved it.. so many times we have tried to do it.. this time really get caught.. well.. we really deserved it..

punishment is only very simple: tml 12 blocks FREE flyer distribution only.. hope this can help cutting down on the loss and to improve on our boss de reputation bah..

one thing i learn to cope is mental stress.. just now during service really struggled for that.. can't really focus on singing.. i really keep crying.. keep thinking on how to solve.. how to help.. but i am really glad that i admit.. i admit all.. i didn't kept any secrets or lie.. i have been truthfully to myself.. to everyone.. it really needs to take a huge step of faith to step forward and admit the mistakes.. feared of the cons, been scolded.. but well.. i am in the house of God, and i am a Christian, and i dun want to keep dragging it le.. admitting it is the only way out.. no more lying is needed anymore..

also want to thank Darren's consulting.. it really helps.. that time i just feel like crying.. but i hold myself.. telling someone of my problems really helps to lighten my burden and my worries.. after hearing.. he really help me alot in advising on what to do, say that i did a great job in be honest, and this is part and partial of life.. this happens.. only that.. this is my first time that this happened to me..

9 more hours to my start of free labour.. i pray that everything will turn out fine.. will push myself to finish at least 15 blocks to cover as many blocks i can.. i noe that with God all things are possible.. i am doing all things to redeem myself.. i can do it. i admit on my mistake with bravery and move on. how about you?

Thursday, April 2, 2009

it's so FOOL!sh (part 1)

1st Fool by someone: Eugene
his sms: Maybe this will be the last time i use this number to sms you... recently there are too much thing s happen.. I have undergo alot of pressure, and now i have finally thought about ir. i'm going off and leave Singapore.. air tickets already been bought by the time you receive this msg,i already inside the plane.dun worry for me as i ill take care myself..i'm going to beijing. just now i still consider whether to call u anot, but things come too sudden, so never discuss with u.. dun angry with me as i have no choice, (Hu Jing Tao) Say he dun want to work liao, ask me go china take over him, next time miss me watch news lah. Advanced april fool day!:P

my reply: (my first few expression of the first few lines are SHOCKED, serious!, somemore it's before 12am of the eve of the 1st April) (that;'s my reply after reading the whole sms..) take care of yourself and let's keep in touch using Facebook. China got right? Btw happy april's fool in advance

1st Prank for someone: Mass Delivery (In sequential order)

to: William, You Hock, Michelle, Wan Ying, Jonathan, Si Jia, Si Yun, Yun Ting, Darren, Eugene, Kwee Peng, Jian Yong, Zeng An, Hariyani, Say Haow, Yan Hao (16 ppl)
my sms: yo you there..? Free to chat with me on sms.. I need someone to chat.. Can you be the one? Sorry to disturb you if I have.. I'm really lonely recently.. Hai..

their replies: (mostly --> of course can, What happened?, need my help? how can i help?, will be there for you..

i want to highlight and show my special appreciation to the following..

Ms SiJia and SiYun are both together, so well, they are the first to spot that. SiJia still call me and ask me loh.. i fake for like 3mins then shout "Happy April's Fool" then they both stunned.. haha.. but quite spoiler, thought can play both of them, esp. siyun... haha.. blur blur de..:P

Mr Darren: You can call me or date me out ya i'm free whole day bro =) (Super touched when seeing this)

(To ensure everyone dun get angry and i dun get overboard...)
My instant reply to their instant reply is.. "No la.. Just... Hai... Feel like telling you.. Happy April's Fool! :)"

2nd Fool by someone: You Hock
His shocking reply was "not funny at all! i thought something serious happened! THIS JOKE IS SERIOUSLY NOT FUNNY AT ALL!"

(i was like emo for 1/2 hour thinking is my sms abit too far-fetched, then i apologised to him saying)
"erm oh i will repent then.. :( sorry. Apologise once again.. Hai.. Shouldn't do so big :( "

then he replied , "it's okay.. becoz it's my turn!! Happy April Fool's Day! =P " (Stunned again.. speechless..)

the rest was like simply ignored me, some commented "lol.. thanks ah; very entertaining; etcs etcs"

after that, there's quite alot of pranks going on for me.. but i didn't fallen into.. simply.. the msgs are too april's fool..haha.. thanks kweepeng, jianyong and victoria for trying so hard on me.. appreciate that:P

i should say i really enjoy fooling others lah, but i got benchmark my limits lah.. instant 5mins fooling.. dragging will make things worse.. haha.. this is my first time trying out, so i should say it's quite successfully for a beginner?.. what do you think? :)