lied

haiz... really dunno y i did that to her again...sad sad...my this new fren 1 me to help him check whether that's the truth or nt..then sort of tell me to go call her la...the 1st 1 is "conference" wifout his voice la...then i swear that 2nd 1 is i ownself call de...after he told me to do so la...yup...is kind of freaky whn ask me to call her...even myself also shiver whn calling her...dunno y..maybe mental block...or psycholocial bah...i dunno...it had been mths since i call her..n that 1st call lasted more than 5mins...surprisingly...but i really feel guilty abt that..

i am been forced or else i really dun wish to call her personally liao...is like almost 1/2 a yr liao..wat is past is past liao mah...n 4 him n her..if i was a given a choice..i will nt 1 to noe so much de...REALLY..the more u noe...the more u became sad...from that time on 1 dec..whn i keep silent n all of thm conference...till now...i noe the betraylity la...honestly why muz i help him...juz becoz he is my fren...dunno leh... really noe so much is nt gd de...somemore he talking more of his that relationshp more than me lo...

i dunno she will come view this post or nt...but i 1 to say SORRY to her thru this...n i noe she will hate me de...haiz..wat to do...i am easily been used by others...u ask me go east...i will go east...u ask me go slp..i will go slp...

simply juz 4 frens la...i want every of my frens to be happy...but myself i am nt happy tonite...i think she will be sad that she is been betrayed...n i lied to her...n i dun think i will hv the face anymore to face her le bah...she will be dam angry bah....haiz..

hope that her blogger is working n she can blog bah...write all the fuss n things inside...

as 4 that him...i will nt let he used me again bah...i try...haiz...really dun hv mood to finish my hws liao..dunno how to face her...haiz...let me die bah...i dun 1 to be in nvss anym...so many probs de...

To her: (sorry ah..i noe i am nt suppose to do that...dun ever forgive me...as i won't be able to forgive myself de...sad sad...living in misery...sorry "T-M-T-"'()