Sometimes..

Sometimes..
..i wonder.. why i am placed in my friends' lives.. i have this feeling now that.. they only find me when they need me.. what if?..

what if.. when i need them?.. will they be there for me?..

on and off, i am been troubled over all my friends' problems.. from costllan, jonathan, yuanhong, and now wanying and xiuying..

maybe i am juz too busybody.. or over sensitive or over caring?

i guess i shouldn't be too over caring about that..

everything should have its own limit right?..

i guess my limit is up.. how about yours?

My breakthough

OH my GOODNESS <(@.@)> ytd is really my breakthough of the day, i completed 2 presentations in a single day, 12pm and 8.15pm de.. so shiok..

my first presentation was at 12pm at Business Objects lab, ms lina surprisely didn't ask me alot of qns when i am presenting.. she asked those i have predicted but didn't prepared de.. lol.. shld have prepared them earlier.. i really can't find that period that she's wanting.. so ... :"(

after that, i felt a sense of relieved and achievement, thank yuanhong for his answering to help our whole team, wanying for her hardwork and kaizhou for her participation and ever been there for me when i need her help.. :)

my second presentation was at 8.15pm at lecture threate 12, presenting on Global Citizenship on the advantages and disadvantages of studying in UnitedKingdom and Singapore.. i stumbbled over the words lah.. but not that nervous liao.. maybe i am use to presenting already... u can see my hand gestures and way of speaking liao.. not that tense liao.. i guess when ur facts are right.. that's not point fearing what the ppl will be asking you about..

for both presentations.. i have overcome my fear of stage fright.. not that shivering and nervous.. just can't pronounce the words clearly... juz give me more time and i am sure by this end of sem.. i can give a proper presentation.. with more confidence! :)

Anger and Frustrated

Anger and Frustrated

""Cut out the COM wires and dun let him use.""

I guess i will rmb this for a period of time de bah.. i really REALLY can't stand my sister.. the 2nd one liao.. (if u have been a good audience, u will know that i am not in VERY good terms with her..since that time.. go back to the older posts either end of last year to see bah)

i was pissed off by her words and her tone..

after dinner around 10.35pm..i asked her nicely "can i use the com at 11pm (i give her 25more mins to use.. even though i need to send yuanhong that document by 11pm.. some lee-ways..)

she agreed.. later my mum came in and ask her nicely (didn't noe i ask her liao).. to let me use the com at 11pm.. then SHE PISSED off..

SIS: this com i can't use ah (in a very harsh tone to "tell" my mum)
MUM: ~~~speechless~~~
Me: (can't take it anymore) can.. you use loh.. i slp first, tml morning then use
SIS: I AM NOT TALKING TO YOU
Me: Yes. You are REFERREING TO ME
SIS: (to my mum) tHen what if ""Cut out the COM wires and dun let him use.""
MUM: ~~~speechless~~~
Me: (sacrastic) then i go my fren's hse do the project loh.. nvm
SIS: YOU KNOW I AM NOT REFERRING TO YOU
Me: (Pissed to the top-- "Dump" off the magazine and slam slightly harder on one of the bedroom door and go shower to "COOL" myself down)

I know she is not trying to say abt me.. but what i mean is that.. can't she AT LEAST treat my mum NICELY.. i mean.. she WAS BORN becoz of my mum leh.. I totally give up on that..

my aunt keep praising her on her change of attitude throughout this couple of years, now i dun think so loh.. a daughter that cannot even respect her mum, won't be even said to be a woman of 29 years old loh..

i mean PLEASE LOH.. 29 liao leh.. i know that she is angry abt mum keep having bias on me.. i mean i really got project and deadline is like.. 1 n 1/2 days time.. can't she give a night for me to finish my project.. she is juz playing plain annoyed..

what unfair? what she is been ill-treated.. she keep telling mum, grandma, aunt, dad that she is been treated unfair.. i mean FOR GOD SAKE.. can't she has eyes to SEE meh.. this few years.. didn't they shower their love to her.. providing care and concern and the upmost LOVE to her.. becoz of me been the youngest child.. getting abit more care than her.. she juz F**k Up..

oh please loh.. I am just 18 years old.. i guess her math sure fail liao.. wonder how she can get an accounting job.. she is more than 10 years older than me.. and yet.. she is unpleased about this treatment.. oh.. totally CAN'T tahan liao...

enough of swearing and cursing.. i need to do my CASH project research liao..
ciao

2 things to share..

2 things to share.. First thing.. i discovered when i was on the way home this evening that... sometimes we can have a brand new feeling/or thoughts if we look at an incident or an event at different point of view.. today i tried it. i slowed down my walking pace instead of walking very fast home (which i usually did== my foot hurts).. i discovered that.. wow.. THE winds is blowing softly on me.. the weather was great at that time. i have a great meal.. (next time tell u what i eat.. ).. but really.. i did look at the things i usually dun even bother at. like the puddle of water on the leaf etcs.. haha..

Second thing is that finally.. all my this week problems have been settled down.. granny is getting better already.. i and my fren frenshp went back to normal.. my fren's relationship prob seems settled liao..
now only left my projects deadlines.. and one more thing..
Finanical needs.. dunno what happen lah.. my parents juz can't forked out enough cash now to pay the school fees which is due tml.. hai.. then now borrow from my 2nd sis.. she seems upset.. i am wondering where did the money that is been saved regularly in my GIRO account.. where did it gone to.. hai.. i shall not say much... :(

就算是整个世界把我抛弃
Even though the whole world turns me down
而至少快乐伤心我自己决定
But i still have the rights to choose to be happy or sad
所以我说就让他去 So i juz let him go
我知道潮落之后一定有潮起
I know that when tides are low, there soon will be tides that are high
有什么了不起 Nothing BIG deal about.

This chrous is from one track of MayDay's album.. ytd was singing k-box with sengyap.. was feeling very VERY down.. due to some reasons.. then when i happens to pick this song and sing.. WAH.. this chrous above is exactly what i been through now..

I sang and sang.. untill the 2nd part of the song.. i tears.. sengyap didn't noe.. and he sang with me.. really thanks him for his backup voice.. juz like an echo to keep me from been down..

Sometimes i wonder why there must be ups and downs in lives... for us humans to experiences.. this is my FIRST down.. juz get over a relationship problem that is not mine.. and now.. frienship problems.. family problems.. all jumbled up together.. i dun even have the mind to study for CASH quiz and to do my projects.. wat went wrong with me.. Am i too emotional?.. i am really upset and angry at myself.. sometimes i wonder is this my weakness?..

I guess i just need to face this?.. no point avoiding and escaping right?.. wei wo jia you bah (Cheer for me kay?).. thanks:)

take care everyone